Chamber of Horrors (1966)

(1966) prod & dir: Hy Averback; w/ Patrick O’Neal, Cesare Danova, Wilfrid Hyde-White, (Wayne Rogers in an early role, Tony Curtis in a brief cameo). No skin; no gore.

A one-handed madman stalks those responsible for sending him up the river; meanwhile, his gruesome exploits are immortalized in the very wax museum run by his next targets. This one hauls out the old “Fear Flasher” gimmick, warning the audience of a ghastly moment to come (said moments, of course, never occur — but if you close your eyes, you can pretend). Really, it is just a polished, inoffensive, and utterly un-scary flick that feels a lot like a TV pilot for a new P.I. show. Its only real merit is the fine cast, who do help to at least make the film modestly entertaining.

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Mega-Python VS Gatoroid

(2011) dir: Mary Lambert; w/ Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, A. Martinez, (Micky Dolenz cameo). No skin; mild gore.
Thanks to a crazy environmentalist, the python problem in the Everglades gets supersized. Thanks to a crazy sheriff, the gators get super-dupersized. Then it’s just gargantuan reptiles versus everybody and only two crabby women and some dynamite can save us now. Apparently, the rehashed critters were not quite enough, so they threw in a cat-fight and a Monkee to try and hold our interest. It doesn’t work. Even by the standards of SyFy channel regurgitated drivel, this one is awfully weak– lukewarm script, bargain bin FX, and half-hearted attempts at humor. Give it a miss unless you just have to see Gibson & Tiffany in a cat-fight.

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