Robo-Geisha

(2009 – Japan) writ & dir: Noboru Iguchi; w/ Aya Kiguchi, Hitomi Hasebe, Takumi Saitoh. No skin; mild gore.
An evil corporation, cyborg assassins, the magic of sisterhood, and swords out the ass (literally… and that’s not mentioning the armpits). This is a frenzied and utterly gonzo farce that is filled to bursting with juvenile humor and abused body parts (and, um, abusive body parts). The budget is low, so the FX are cheap and simple, but it makes up for it with a non-stop parade of idiotic jokes and spurting blood. It would play best to rowdy 11-year-old boys — or a frat party after the first keg. I didn’t think it was near as good as Iguchi’s other flicks, but it certainly wasn’t dull.

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The Devil’s Tomb

(2009) dir: Jason Connery; w/ Cuba Gooding, Jr., Taryn Manning, Valerie Cruz, (Ron Perlman cameo). A tidbit o’ skin; a little gore.
A team of mercenaries dive into an archaeological dig (which looks remarkably like the basement of an old factory) and find themselves in a duel with the devil, some demon-possessed zombies, and a whole lot of pus. The cast really tries to give this thing some respectability, but the imagination just isn’t here. Their attempt to turn it into an apocalyptic struggle with the forces of Hell falls afoul of weak storytelling and a rather simplistic notion of evil. So really, what we get is the usual commandos versus zombies, but with some bible verses stuffed in the cracks. Pretty much a waste of time, no matter what you were looking for.

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