Blood Car

(2007) dir: Alex Orr; w/ Mike Brune, Anna Chlumsky, Katie Rowlett. A little skin; mild gore.

In an era of sky-high gas prices, a mild-mannered teacher invents a car that runs on human blood. So… is murdering people for fuel better than polluting the planet? This is a fun indie effort done with little budget but rather more talent than usual. However, their attempts at ‘wacky’ humor often are merely ‘dorky’, and even at less than 80 minutes, it is much too long for its material. Still, it is well put together and worth a few giggles.

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Mega-Shark vs Giant Octopus

(2009) writ & dir: Ace Hannah (aka Jack Perez); w/ Deborah Gibson, Vic Chao, Lorenzo Lamas. No skin; no gore.

Two super-sized prehistoric beasties with jet-speed, steel skin and Hoover appetites thaw out from the ice and eat lots of stuff. What we have here is minimal effort for a paycheck – haphazard script, dialog that would demean the intelligence of a flatworm, science padding with test-tubes full of colored liquid, and effects scenes made from brief glimpses of cheap CGI and more mismatched stock footage than in any single film since the sixties. Mildly amusing due solely to its blatant disregard for competence.

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The Vampire’s Coffin

(1958 – Mexico) dir: Fernando Mendez; w/ Abel Salazar, Ariadna Welter, German Robles. No skin; no gore.

Some mook pulls the stake out – yeesh. A quite loose sequel to The Vampire (1957) – now we have a love triangle between the pouty dancer, the comical doctor, and the wimpy vampire. The characters & plot just bounce around like pinballs… come to think of it, most pinball machines have a more substantial plot. This is just a bunch of barely related gags & lightweight scares. On the plus side, the moody cinematography was once again really quite good.

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